Skip to main content

IMPERMANENCE

I’ve been thinking about the concept of impermanence.  The idea of “forever” not really being forever.  The premise that nothing is forever.  

Nothing.



While that may seem like a sad reality, in actuality when I started pondering it the other day it was in a celebratory manner.  I was thinking something like, “These sunny days (both weather-wise and attitude-wise) will not be around forever – I need to enjoy them while they are here!”.  It didn’t feel like a negative reaction to the realization of impermanence, it felt like a gentle nudge – a reminder – that our time here is short and meant to be enjoyed. 

I am not sure what started me on this train of thought.  It could be the impending end of year, but I hope it is something less cyclical than that. It might be that my lovely two week period of not taking any work is coming to a close, but I hope that is not the reason.  The truth is; I guess I think about impermanence a lot, though I hadn’t labeled it.  I think about death – not my death – but death in general.  We had a spate of deaths in the early 2000s where David and I lost 3 parents in 4 years.  That experience totally altered my mind-set.  It changed so much about me – my humor, my belief in my abilities, my appreciation for life, the way I structure my time, and my compassion.  That experience of impermanence, of death, made me appreciate life more. 

There have not been any big reminders of impermanence, such as death, lately.  It has been the small things: a sand castle being washed away is what started the thinking.  And as I thought, I realized that nothing is forever.  Certainly not our things - material things come and go.  Not our friendships – those are fluid, too. Not our health.  Not love – even if we are lucky enough to find someone who seems to fit perfectly into our lives that person (and we) will not live forever, or perhaps the love will morph and become unwanted. 

I decided I wanted to document the concept of “nothing is forever” in photos.  I started today by walking to the beach with an idea in mind.  And before I could even get to the water’s edge, I was struck with finality – a large dead turtle on the shore.  It made me sad, yet it was as in your face as it could get with what I had been pondering.  It is easy to see impermanence in living things – a flower dying, a whale washing up, a candle burning down, a miscarriage…  I want to open my eyes (and mind) and see what I believe is impermanence all around – reminders that forever is a fallacy and that NOW is what is important.  I do not mean that as granting myself permission to go crazy since time is short.  I mean opening my mind and my heart and appreciating what is present now.  Being present in now.    


So I will try and tune in and be aware.  Document with photos.  And celebrate the lack of forever by being appreciative of the now.  

Comments

Unknown said…
Thank you for the reminder to live in the present and take in the little sweatnesses that life offers up with awareness and appreciation.

Popular posts from this blog

The Days Are Getting Shorter

The days are getting shorter. The sun, that brilliant star that lights our lives, is setting earlier.   Bit by bit, every evening.   This time of year is always a bit sad for me.   It is a form of closure.   Saying “goodbye” to another summer.   Somehow, it is hard for me to couch it as saying “hello” to another winter.   In my mind I know that is logical, but in my heart, another summer has passed to mourn. I haven’t felt my best the last couple of days.   I put it down to stress – the big annual fundraiser I host is quickly approaching, and at the same time my job, my main source of income, is being threatened to disappear (health insurance along with it).   So yeah, stress could make my body not function properly, right?   Only, as the second day of feeling “off” wore on, it became harder and harder to ignore that things just weren’t right.   It came to a head on a 25-minute car ride.   We had met a friend for dinner and had a lovely time.   It was so fun catching up

The Girl Who Can't Ride a Bike

I am “the girl who can’t ride a bike”. I guess to be accurate, I should say that I WAS “the girl who can’t ride a bike”.   But it was such a big part of my identity growing up, that the never formalized (but often teased about) nickname stuck in my psyche. You know how most kids love to jump on their bikes and pedal around the neighborhood once they have figured out how to balance, brake, and GO?   Yeah, that wasn’t me.   I wasn’t that kid. I am not sure WHAT really happened. The one thing I do remember is being on a bike in my family’s garage in Omaha, Nebraska trying to ride my bike.   It must’ve been winter, otherwise, why wouldn’t I have been outdoors??   But I think my foot slipped off the pedal and I know for sure my knee hit the handlebar.   It hurt.   I remember crying. But I am guessing that it hurt my pride more than it hurt my knee.   I think I was already past the age where kids were “supposed” to ride a bike.   But then and there I must’ve secretly made

The Presents

We are old. Giving gifts has always meant a lot to me.  I was raised in a household that valued gifts, valued “things” actually.  At Christmas time, the base of our tree would be piled hiiiigh with presents wrapped in brightly colored paper tied with neatly curled ribbons.    Birthdays would mean being spoiled by more gifts.   Even Valentine’s Day came with a present.   So, without being overtly taught, I learned that love was shown by giving something tangible.   As I became an adult, I noticed people older than me asking for things for the holidays that I thought were silly – cheese, wine, nuts…   “Those aren’t PRESENTS,” I remember thinking. “Presents are touchable, physical things – things to be KEPT, not to be consumed.”   So, when I found my life partner, I showered him with GIFTS.   Gifts wrapped just as I had been subconsciously taught must be wrapped in beautiful paper, tied tight with a bow.   But it didn’t take long for me to notice that my love and