Random Thoughts

Something happened to me yesterday. It wasn’t a “big deal”, but it happened. And, because it wasn’t a “big deal”, I tried to push it out of my mind.   I had things to do, right?   Just keep going with life. But the thing is, it is almost 24 hours later and I am still thinking about it.   The sun is shining, it is a gorgeous day, and instead of being outside drinking it all in, I am inside, writing it all down.   Sometimes writing things down is a way of sharing them with others.   Sometimes writing things down is a way of doing a “brain dump” and getting them out of my head so that I can focus on other things.   This piece is BOTH – sharing, and dumping. If you are male, you might not understand.   The whole #MeToo thing seems ages ago now, doesn’t it?   That’s all finished, fixed, right? No.   Seemingly “little” things happen daily in the lives of women.   They happen so often that sometimes we don’t even notice them.   The gaze as we cross the street.   The smile that is

January 1, 2021 I shaved my head.   Well, to be more precise, I asked my stylist to shave it. This was the 2 nd time in my life to be bald.   The first time I went for it was in 2001.   My mom was losing her hair due to chemo for colon cancer, so my big sister, partner and I all shaved in solidarity.   It ended up being pretty hilarious because in the months following, my mom (the actual cancer patient) looked great with her real-human hair wig, while the 3 of us who were healthy walked around with doo-rags and/or shiny heads looking like chemo patients. The first time I ever shaved my head - November 2001 But 2021 was different. I wasn’t shaving in support of someone else. I was shaving for ME. I was taking control of one thing I could control – MYSELF. 2020 was a year out-of-control.   Covid 19.   Isolation.   No socialization.   Loneliness.   Plans, big plans, cancelled.   The whole world seemed to invert and crash down on my chest.   And your chest.   And EVERYONE’S chest.

I learned this lesson years ago, but apparently I needed a refresher course this evening: We “pay” with what we can.   “Currency” does not take one form. The first person to visit the Little Yellow Free Pantry gave me my reminder of that concept.   The pantry has been open since 2:00 pm on Saturday, but as of 6:00 pm Monday night far we had not had any shoppers, only DONORS!   And we have had some amazing donors!!   But I have been busy trying to figure out how to best get the word out to people who actually need the food. But then I looked outside, and in the darkness, I saw the little glow of the pantry lights…   I thought, “Someone is putting MORE in there?   It is chock full right now!”.   Then I saw a bag on the ground…   I grabbed a mask, stepped out on the back porch, and said, “Hello!”.   A woman answered back, and I walked closer to the pantry to talk. I introduced myself and she told me her name.   She was an older black woman, and her bags and blanket made it clear sh