Random Thoughts

One of my friends remarked to me today, “You love SO hard!”. That four word sentence encapsulates it – I love so hard .   And when a person LOVES hard, they GRIEVE hard.   They JOY hard.   They HAPPY hard.   And they CRY hard. I am thankful to feel as strongly as I feel.   But understanding that is who I am means having to make SPACE for myself.   Having to carve out time, sometimes physically on the calendar, to allow myself to feel. Today was one of those days. My sister Annette should have turned 59 years old today.   But brain cancer totally ripped her off and stole her from us last December.   Today was our first May 15 th without her.   My sister Sherry and I had planned to be together for this milestone but Covid 19 made that impossible.   So today, each in our own way, we celebrated the sister that we love, that we grieve for.   Today we celebrated ANNETTE DAY. My plan was to fill the day d...

Sometimes, if you are lucky, life puts things in your path that are unexpected.   Things that you would not normally choose to do. Life did that to me today. My sister Annette has wanted to go see a psychic for several years.   The first I knew of it was when both sisters were visiting us in DC, and we drove by a psychic on the main street near us, her neon sign glowing in an otherwise dark window.   “Wouldn’t that COOL to do??   Wouldn’t it be FUN to see a PSYCHIC??” Annette said from the back seat.     Ummm, no…   No, it wouldn’t be “cool” or “fun”.   It would (I jadedly thought) be one or a combination of these things:   hokey, scary, fake, terrifying, and utterly depressing if she told us something awful that was going to happen in the future.   “WHYYY would I want to know the trials and tribulations future me was going to have to suffer?” I thought.   “Can’t we just wait until the bad stuff hits and deal with it then...