Random Thoughts

We are old. Giving gifts has always meant a lot to me.  I was raised in a household that valued gifts, valued “things” actually.  At Christmas time, the base of our tree would be piled hiiiigh with presents wrapped in brightly colored paper tied with neatly curled ribbons.    Birthdays would mean being spoiled by more gifts.   Even Valentine’s Day came with a present.   So, without being overtly taught, I learned that love was shown by giving something tangible.   As I became an adult, I noticed people older than me asking for things for the holidays that I thought were silly – cheese, wine, nuts…   “Those aren’t PRESENTS,” I remember thinking. “Presents are touchable, physical things – things to be KEPT, not to be consumed.”   So, when I found my life partner, I showered him with GIFTS.   Gifts wrapped just as I had been subconsciously taught must be wrapped in beautiful paper, tied tight with a bow.   But...

What would you do if the universe suddenly handed you an EXTRA DAY? Extra days can be metaphorical – I mean, actual EXTRA DAYS are few and far between.   But if one landed in your lap – what would you do? I was thinking about this question today.   I was handed a literal EXTRA DAY by the universe, and it is today.   We were confused on what day our flight home from vacation was.   We had written down on the calendar for FRIDAY.   We had the right airline, right flight number and times, but put it on the wrong DATE.   And it wasn’t until the automated email from the airline popped in on WEDNESDAY night urging us to check-in for our upcoming flight that we realized the mistake…   After over an hour on hold with the airline chat system (and the same amount of time with the airline phone recording playing the same hold music over and over…) – we finally got a chat agent who graciously moved our flight (with no change fee!) to the day we mistakenly th...

Next month will be 20 years since we bought the Big Yellow House. 20 years! That seems so wild. David and I are what I refer to as “commitment-phobics” – neither of us is good at committing to things. For example, no tattoos. I don’t understand HOW people DECIDE what tattoo to get! It lasts FOR-EV-ER, people! And we lived together 12 years before finally getting married. Yeah, commitment is not our strong suit. So, to realize we have lived in this house in Arlington this long is bizarre.  Anyway, the reason I mention we are going on 2 decades in this house is because one of the FIRST THINGS the realtor said when we pulled up to it was that it definitely needed work on the curb appeal. I believe what ol’ Jim W. said was, “Well Dave and Sue, the FIRST thing you should do if you decide on this property is rip out this ugly old chain link fence and replace it with some BUSHES! That’ll spruce the place up”.  Yeah…  So now, 20 years and much rust later, we are getti...

One of my friends remarked to me today, “You love SO hard!”. That four word sentence encapsulates it – I love so hard .   And when a person LOVES hard, they GRIEVE hard.   They JOY hard.   They HAPPY hard.   And they CRY hard. I am thankful to feel as strongly as I feel.   But understanding that is who I am means having to make SPACE for myself.   Having to carve out time, sometimes physically on the calendar, to allow myself to feel. Today was one of those days. My sister Annette should have turned 59 years old today.   But brain cancer totally ripped her off and stole her from us last December.   Today was our first May 15 th without her.   My sister Sherry and I had planned to be together for this milestone but Covid 19 made that impossible.   So today, each in our own way, we celebrated the sister that we love, that we grieve for.   Today we celebrated ANNETTE DAY. My plan was to fill the day d...

Well, it’s rolled around again.   It’s THAT DAY, you know, the one where I remind you how lucky you are if your mom is still alive. Look – I do not want to make you feel guilty.   Seriously I don’t.   But if we are being honest here I will admit that you having a living mom makes me a bit (more than a bit…) jealous.   I know times are tough for everyone right now.   If your mom is in a nursing home you can’t get in to visit her.   If your mom lives in another state you can’t fly to see her.   Heck, even if your mom lives right across town you can’t give her a proper hug (at least you shouldn’t!).   It sucks. But do you know what sucks worse??   When your mom is dead.   When you know that there is no “end to the distance”.   When the only time you can see your mom is in dreams and that is very rare and when you wake-up she is still dead.   It is like social distancing forever.   How does that sound? My ...

We all have our take on organized religion.  Much of our perspective is probably shaped by our religious experiences growing up.  I don’t normally talk about religion because it is such a hot button issue.   And, in my experience, if you tell someone you are not religious, a cloud falls over the conversation.   It is as if suddenly their view of you changes, you are judged not for what you are, but for what you are NOT. But in doing some spring cleaning recently I got to thinking about it all.   You see, we have a PEW on our porch.   A real, live, honest to goodness CHURCH PEW.   We got it for free when a neighborhood church decided to close and let itself be replaced by affordable housing (which is something in short supply around us).   I saw a posting saying that they had pews to give away, and for some reason I felt like I really needed one… Our pew It was an odd addition to our house, really.  I don’t “do” Pinteres...

Relationships are strange.   So many factors involved: what is their purpose, how much energy must be devoted to them, what do we get out of them…   I confess that I am not the type of person to over-examine things, relationships included.   I hear of friends writing PLANS, 5 or 10 year schedules, for their lives and relationships.   You aren’t going to find such a plan on my laptop (or in one of the many half-used legal pads laying around the house).   I guess what I am trying to say is: I happened on a relationship that somehow just works .   It works without a real PLAN.   It works with very sporadic disputes.   It works without much fuss or caretaking – it just works.   And trust me, I know how lucky that is. Springtime in DC - trees are starting to bloom I realize I am (we are) fortunate to have somehow stumbled on each other 30 YEARS AGO.  Yesterday (Easter) was our 30 year anniversary.  We celebrate the anniver...

I have been traveling the past few months so have not been home much.  Now that I am back home and settling in, I am feeling my creative urge again, which I love.  I have started thinking of PROJECTS.  “Projects” are what I call the work that I do – it is interactive art really – outside our home.  I didn’t realize how much I missed doing my projects, how hungry my soul was for creating, until I got back home.  Now my mind is whirling with projects begun earlier begging to be finished and shared and new ideas buzzing in my head.  I have had a couple days in a row of TIME OFF.  I am finally caught up on sleep and more easily able to focus creatively.  So this evening I put a project into play.  It is called “Take What You Need”.  I made a tear-off sign, the kind you used to find in grocery stores with apartments to rent or French tutors to hire (before Google took over for the paper versions and made it simple to find anything)...