Random Thoughts

Have you ever thought about how much you strive for perfection? I think we all do it, if not all the time, then at least OFTEN.   At work we want a “perfect review”.   We want (expect??) our love relationships to be “perfect”.   We pluck our eyebrows, cut our hair, all with a goal (probably unspoken and unrealized even subconsciously) of “perfection”. Perfection is what we continually strive for , yet if we are being honest, we all know it is impossible. Your house will never be “perfectly clean” (heaven knows mine won’t anyway).   Your clothes will never fit “perfectly” and match from head to toe (that sock inching its way down your ankle will make sure of that).   Your kids, your relationships, NOTHING will ever be PERFECT . So, why do we all strive for the unachievable?   Is setting ourselves up for inevitable failure only a recipe for frustration, depression, or at the very least, feeling like crap?? Don’t get me wrong.   Th...

She is dead. She is gone.  No amount of wishing, dreaming, hoping, pretending will bring her back. For 13 years I was secretly keeping bits of her alive.  If I could just take care of those, nurture them enough, be responsible enough, I would keep her here with me.  But she slowly slipped away, seeped through my fingers, until I finally understood that my imagined task to keep her with me was impossible.  She is dead.  She is gone.  And she isn’t coming back.  It’s not my fault.  It’s not my choice.  But it is true. I kept her alive.  Her body, the part everyone could see, died long ago.  When it was time for that to happen I was brave.  I was accepting.  I sat with her, with my family, as we watched her go.  We grieved her death and our lives moved on. But secretly, I kept her alive.  I wore her sweaters.  I walked in her shoes.  I displayed her frog.  I kept her jewelry...