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Friends (and non-friends) and Massages

This is the story of my friend, Heather. It is also the story of my NOT friend, Jason. If you are offended by the use of foul language, specially the f-bomb, this is not the story for you and you should stop reading now.     OK, it is just us foul mouth f-bomb droppers left, right? FUUUUUCK!! My friend Heather, a true sweetheart, messaged me this morning saying she had a massage appointment with “her guy” at “her place”.   And OFFERING me said appointment.   Like, free.   As a gift.   “All you would need to do is tip!” she proclaimed.   Only, she sent the offer in the morning.   And, having just gone through a particularly stressful and busy holiday season, I slept until around 12:30 pm.   When I finally opened my phone to see what had happened in the world while I drooled on my pillow, the group conversation where the massage had been offered was full of, “SUSAN BETTER WAKE UP SOON!   She is gonna miss ou...