Random Thoughts

I haven’t had much time lately to sit down, relax, think, and create.   Writing seems a luxury of times past, as all of the minutes of every day lately feel taken up with care taking, errands, laughing with my sisters, doctor appointments, and the like.   Not that I begrudge any of that – I am exactly where I need to be right now doing what I am supposed to (and want) to do. But I cannot let a MARY DAY pass by without putting my thoughts on “paper”. For the uninitiated, Mary Day is October 20 th .   It is the anniversary of my mom's (Mary) death – October 20, 2002.   I can’t believe it has been 16 years already.   16 years seems short and at the same time very, very long.   When someone important in your life dies, things inevitably change.   All of the “big events” that happen remind you of the hole they left behind.   Births of what would have been great-grandchildren…   Holidays…   Weddings…   And now, ill...

I am the type of person who, when I decide to do something, I DO IT.   I like to get something started and FINISH it.   I mean, not like big projects , heaven knows the wine rack/shelf unit I wanted to clean and repaint sat in disarray for a year before it finally got done and reassembled…   But in general – if there are dishes to be washed, I wash them.   If there is laundry to be done, I clean it.   If there is a bill to be paid, I write out the check and take it to the post office. Which is one reason that dealing with someone with Alzheimer’s can be so frustrating. Because, as I am learning more every day, when you are interacting with someone whose memory is compromised, it is not about the end result, it is about the DOING.   The activity.   The time spent having something worthwhile, something soothing, something meaningful to accomplish – that is the goal.   Not the finished product. The task that first brought this to my a...

No, not an actual physical fire.   But a psychological one – maybe metaphysical.   Not one that can be put out by water or foam.   Still – a fire of epic proportions. “Your house is on fire, friend.   You can only keep what you really need.”   That is what David told her, our friend, when we finally got there.   To her apartment.   The apartment we knew, yet somehow knew not at all. We had been in the apartment many times over the years.   She is a family friend.   She became a citizen with the assistance of our family.   She reveres our family – keeps photos displayed in prominent places.   When our matriarch and patriarch died, we became her family.   We seem to be her only real friends.   She has acquaintances – people she waits in line with in the early morning to get gifts of food from the local church or mosque, people who live in her building.   But her walls are so thick – her guard up so strong – ...

I like that I live “one stoplight away” from our country’s capital (that is the phrase every realtor who lists a house in our neighborhood uses, causing us to wonder, “What route do they drive into the district?” and also “One stoplight , perhaps, but four traffic jams…”).   Close proximity to DC means we can easily join protests, marches, and celebrations.   I love that.   And, let’s be honest, since November 8, 2016, there have been lots of protests and marches to join in on, but we’ve been light in what I could consider reasons to celebrate… Little boy with his sign at a protest against the Muslim Ban at Dulles Airport I have made more protest signs and spent more arm-aching hours holding them in the air the last 19 months than I have the other 52 years of my life combined.     I like protests and rallies .   Especially in this day and age, I find them to be a space filled with INSPIRATION, with HOPE, and with the BELIEF that things can and ...

Don’t.   Say.   It.   It’s the 2 nd Sunday of May.   That’s the day women with no children and dead mothers consciously or unconsciously stay home.   We organize closets.   We cook.   We watch movies.   Anything to stay out of the public eye – to avoid the inevitable, the “Happy Mother’s Day!” greeting delivered with a smile. I thought I was safe this year.   I went no further than my own front porch.   I was working on some potted plants.   Then a woman walked by.   I smiled at her, as I smile at everyone who walks by.   Then she said it .   And in that moment, I was faced with the odd dilemma of what to say to her in return.   Instinctively, I did what my own mother taught me when I was young and responded in kind, “Happy Mother’s Day to you, too”.   But it wasn’t sincere.   I was angry that it came out of my mouth.   And it started me thinking. WHY do people say “Happy Mother’s D...

Relationships are strange.   So many factors involved: what is their purpose, how much energy must be devoted to them, what do we get out of them…   I confess that I am not the type of person to over-examine things, relationships included.   I hear of friends writing PLANS, 5 or 10 year schedules, for their lives and relationships.   You aren’t going to find such a plan on my laptop (or in one of the many half-used legal pads laying around the house).   I guess what I am trying to say is: I happened on a relationship that somehow just works .   It works without a real PLAN.   It works with very sporadic disputes.   It works without much fuss or caretaking – it just works.   And trust me, I know how lucky that is. Springtime in DC - trees are starting to bloom I realize I am (we are) fortunate to have somehow stumbled on each other 30 YEARS AGO.  Yesterday (Easter) was our 30 year anniversary.  We celebrate the anniver...

We had a scare yesterday. Well, WE didn’t exactly, but David did.  And I guess that is what made it so scary.  David is unflappable.  He does not really get frightened.  We can be in the middle of a huge rally or gathering, or a situation that is escalating, where I sense the potential for danger, and David remains calm and collected, never flinching. But yesterday he panicked.  And his reaction has made me reflect. First, the story:  for the last year or so I have wanted to PAINT ROCKS.  It is a trend – people paint rocks and then hide them for unsuspecting strangers to find.  It started as a kindness act – bring a little sunshine into someone’s life.  But it has become a bit of an “in group” thing now – people paint super fancy, beautiful rocks, then give their fellow rock painters hints at where they are hiding them, at which point hordes of collectors descend upon the hinted at location and score pretty treats.  ...