Random Thoughts

It is a dull, drizzly gray day out today.   I am tempted to crawl back into bed (which would be ridiculous, since I only got out of it at 2:15 pm….).   But instead I will think about YESTERDAY, a day that the sun shone and people reminded me that there is good in the world. For 4 or 5 weeks I have been writing a daily poll on a piece of bright paper and taping it to a corner across from our house.   The polls have asked “important” questions, such as, “Carrots:   Raw or Cooked?”; “Glitter:   Shiny, glorious goodness or The world’s most horrible craft supply?”; Elsa or Anna?”; and “New Olympic Event:   Eating the most marshmallows or Holding your breath the longest?”.     Normally by the next morning around 40 people have voted.   Every day I watch people come up to the corner, stop, read (and often smile) then vote as the poll instructs them to with a rock or stick.      The pile of rocks and ...

I have work I should be doing this evening to catch up.   And I am taking an online class where I am behind in the reading.   And the house is still a mess, even though we have barely been outside it the last 5 ½ weeks. But instead of focusing on any of those “should do”s tonight, I am focusing on a “want to do”.   Or perhaps, in this case, it is a “must do”. I am spreading out my blood money.   Or, as the trump administration likes to call it, my stimulus check. Our government check got deposited this week, all $2400 of it.   But instead of making me feel happy or hopeful, it sort of made me feel dirty.   It feels like an attempt to placate the masses and to buy votes. So, I sat down tonight and I wrote this letter: “Our blood money got deposited this week.   Errr, I mean, our “stimulus check”.    I for one feel like it is too little too late, and had this pandemic hit at any other point beside NOW (i.e., a few months...

I have always been afraid of cold water. Growing up in a boating family, this was not a great trait to have.   I was, my parents said, “a percher”.   That is, I PERCHED on the side of the boat, sticking one foot in, then the other, then getting back IN the boat, only to perch on the side again, dip in foot one, dip in foot two, and repeat…   The idea that once I committed to jumping in the lake, my entire body would be cold literally froze me in my track and had me stay in the boat (unless I was gently pushed in…). I remember this as a story of my friend Monica and I, but it could just as well be a story about one of my sisters told so many times over the years that I attribute it to happening to me.   Monica (Monj) and I had been brought to the pool by her mom.   Looking back, it was a ridiculous pool.   A large chunk of it was SHADED BY TREES!   Who wants to swim in the shade??   Obviously, the shade meant cooler water, and on the day...

Some days are better than others. I can slide along - everything ok.  Smiles, laughs, walks outdoors. Then it hits.  It's overwhelming.  Sadness.  Desperation.  Confusion. The tears flow. Then I remember, the mail. The note that was delivered from a complete stranger.  She didn't even know our names - she addressed it to "Arlington Career Center Neighbor" at our address. She made me smile.  And take a deep breath. And remember that not all is lost in the world.

I am privileged. Oh man, am I privileged. Not only do I have healthy food to eat, I have a grocery store I can walk to to buy it. I have a car and gas in the tank. I have a roof over my head.   A cozy bed (with a warm electric blanket!).   I have shoes (many pairs to choose from) and clothes to wear. I GET that I am privileged.   But days like today, oh man.   I am reminded how truly sheltered and naïve I am. I am an “armchair warrior”.   I talk the talk.   I hang the signs on my front gate.   But when push comes to shove… My sister Sherry and I joined an event called “Swarm the Senate” today.   It is a group of people (it seems mostly women) who have been showing up at the Hart Senate Office building in Washington DC at noon for the last 12 days.   They are peacefully demonstrating, demanding that trump be removed from office.   I had been wanting to go but hadn’t made time to do it.   Wit...

Gifts mean a lot to me.   I love to GIVE them.   I know lots of people say that, but I really take joy in finding a gift that fits a person, wrapping it, and giving it to them.   And I enjoy getting gifts, of course!   But I also really, really like HAVING gifts.   Like, WRAPPED UP, STILL WAITING FOR ME gifts.   It’s weird, I know, and it drives some people crazy.   We have a pile of unopened gifts in our house, some of which are probably a decade old!!   I have learned that I can only allow myself to “save” unwrapped gifts from my sweetheart.   Gifts from family and friends must be opened (relatively) quickly when they arrive, so as not to hurt people’s feelings.   But gifts between David and I can be left to “simmer”, I can wonder what might be in them, and I can pretend like there will never be an end to the gift giving.   That our love and exchange is endless.   A few times in my lift I have been given gifts ...

Have you ever thought about how much you strive for perfection? I think we all do it, if not all the time, then at least OFTEN.   At work we want a “perfect review”.   We want (expect??) our love relationships to be “perfect”.   We pluck our eyebrows, cut our hair, all with a goal (probably unspoken and unrealized even subconsciously) of “perfection”. Perfection is what we continually strive for , yet if we are being honest, we all know it is impossible. Your house will never be “perfectly clean” (heaven knows mine won’t anyway).   Your clothes will never fit “perfectly” and match from head to toe (that sock inching its way down your ankle will make sure of that).   Your kids, your relationships, NOTHING will ever be PERFECT . So, why do we all strive for the unachievable?   Is setting ourselves up for inevitable failure only a recipe for frustration, depression, or at the very least, feeling like crap?? Don’t get me wrong.   Th...