Holidays Through My Eyes

This might surprise you.  The only thing about it that surprises me is that I am just now willing to admit it publicly:

I dislike holidays.

Holidays - without the rose colored glasses

Now before you go into your, “Susan, Susan, Susan, it is just this year!  You have had a hard year, it’s the first Christmas without your dad, your sister is sick…” spiel,  let me clarify that it is NOT just this year.  I have disliked holidays most of my adult life I think.  It’s just now, after the shitty year I have had, I am ready to talk about it. 

Holidays are a recipe for sadness.  Holidays set people, us, all of us, up to fail. 

Let’s look at the current holiday – Christmas.  Not only are you expected to buy amazing gifts (that fit) for a bazillion people.  Not only are you expected to have a Pinterest perfect tree in your perfectly clean living room.  Not only are you supposed to bake cookies and cakes and package them in dainty little tins to hand out to co-workers.  Not only are you expected to move a damn elf* around your house and pose it in ways that are more clever than your neighbor.  Not only must you load up your front lawn with lights and blow-ups.  Not only must you make the biggest meal of the year and serve it on a tablecloth with no stains.  And not only must you make cards featuring photos of every family member smiling a big toothy grin and having their eyes open.**

No, on top of all of that, why this year, you also have to have MATCHING PAJAMAS.  Everyone, from Granny to the dog, must be decked out in Christmas PJs.

Like, after you have done ALL OF THAT, how the hell are you supposed to enjoy your one “magical day”?

And speaking of MAGICAL DAYS – that is what I dislike (I would say despise, but maybe that is too strong of a word, given that I am sitting down to write this on December 25^th.  Despise sounds a bit sacrilegious somehow…)…  OK, what I most dislike about holidays is the whole ONE DAY-ED-NESS of them.  There is so frickin’ much HYPE.  The stores put out Halloween crap the day after whatever holiday comes a couple months earlier…  Christmas décor is on the shelves before Thanksgiving.  The tv commercials.  The songs on the radio.  IT IS ALL FOR ONE DAY – 24 hours.  Pick your holiday, whichever one being celebrated (except Hanukkah, now THAT is a brilliant holiday, spread out into 8 days!!).   There is so much planning, preparation, and anticipation.  Then poof – the day is done. 

Honestly, I don’t even save my sadness for after the holiday anymore.  I go ahead and get it out on the table upfront, before the calendar even reads the magical date.  I get sad in ANTICIPATION of the sadness.  And I know I am not alone!  I might be the only one ranting about it on Christmas Day, but there are other “me”s out there. 

Now I reach the point in this story where I tell you how I, one little human, deal with this dislike of holidays.  Are you ready?

I live my life as if every day is a holiday.

“Whaaaat?  That makes no sense!  If you hate holidays, living that way means you hate everyday!”

Nope.  Because when each day has the potential to be a holiday, there is no holiday related angst.  No stress.  No perceived expectation or competition. 

I think I came to this realization a decade or two ago, when I read somewhere that Frank Zappa let his kids Dweezel and Moon Unit dye Easter eggs any damn day of the year they wanted to.  BRILLIANT!!!  Why are the colored eggs reserved for one day of the year?  You want to dye eggs – DYE THE EGGS!  After that I have always had at least one Paas Easter Egg kit in my cupboard at all times.  You never know what the urge will strike!

And to be clear, when I say I live my life as if every day is a holiday, I don’t mean there are traditions, special food, or anything like that for these daily holidays.  It is just a way of life, a mental state, an awareness.  It is a way of appreciating, celebrating, and making life special and enjoyable.

Wanna know some things that feel like holidays when you shift your mindset?

·         Eating fresh pineapple – a holiday to be sure

·         Taking a shower OUTDOORS – be it in the sunshine with butterflies floating by or under a starry sky – definite holiday material

·         Watching a kid joyously chase a bird on the beach – HOLIDAY

·         Winning a round of BINGO – you got it, holiday

·         Paying for someone’s groceries – has holiday written all over it

·         Making a snow angel – can you say “holiday”?

·         Riding your bike a few miles racing against time, but getting to the perfect spot to watch sunset riiiight on time – total holiday

·         Making a big green salad that is so delicious that it gets a compliment – yup, holiday

·         When your odometer turns over to 100,000 miles – holiday to be sure

I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.  My holidays are not big.  They are not expensive (usually).  They are moments, images, fleeting.  But because another might come tomorrow, or the next day, there is no sadness to them ending.  The whole “magical day – poof” issue is gone.  Instead of going to bed sad that the holiday is over, I can go to bed excited for what holiday tomorrow might bring.

That’s enough for now.  Someday I might tell you about my fear of things finishing (and show you the huge pile of unopened birthday and Christmas gifts that grows and grows in our living room – no doubt filled with clothes that no longer fit us and food that is expired 8 years ago).  But that topic might need years of therapy to figure out, and who has time for therapy when I am busy celebrating daily holidays?

For now – HAPPY HOLIDAYS.  Be it Festivus, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, Eid, 4^th of July, Boxing Day, or your OWN PERSONAL HOLIDAY. 

Enjoy. 

My sister Annette and I opening our stockings (IN MATCHING PJ S NO LESS).  This is before I understood the sadness and angst of holidays (but look, one of us got a Barbie make-up head!)

Me at Christmas, age 6, rocking pleather go go boots.

*Speaking of the damn elf, I finally scored a MENSCH ON A BENCH!  I couldn’t bring myself to pay full price for one, but I got him 70% off after Hanukkah.  And you can BET he is gonna be moving around our house, only, probably, not when the calendar says it is Hanukkah.  Cuz, ummm, HOLIDAY!

**I had to take a deep breath this morning when holiday stress reared its ugly head while I was still in BED…  What would I make for the perfect Christmas breakfast??  There had to be something fluffy and brightly colored displayed on just the right plates…  Then my sweetheart rolled over and said he was hungry for cereal.  See why I love this guy??