Skip to main content

Not So Silent Night


“I guess life is like that – beautiful, and sad at the same time.”

Words of wisdom spoken over the phone across the miles from my sweetheart, David, in response to the story I told him through tears as I sat in the nursing home parking lot.

I had popped into the home, which is only for “memory care” patients, just to quickly deliver some bird food to Evelyn, my dad’s 2nd wife.  He married her after my mom died, and just a few hours before Dad died, Evelyn was moved into the home.  She had a rough go of it in the beginning – confused where she was, why she was there, where my dad was, when she would go home, who would get the mail, etc.  But it has been exactly a year now and she has settled in much better than I ever imagined.

When I walked in tonight at 6:00 PM, right after dinner was finished at the home, I saw about 15 women sitting around in the main room.  The TV was on but there was no sound.  As soon as one of them saw me, she asked how to turn the news on.  When Evelyn turned her head and realized it was me, she chimed in on needing the tv turned the news.  (This was sweet actually, since I lived with Dad and Ev the last couple months of Dad’s life, and Evelyn was constantly messing up their television with the remote, which Dad and I always had to try and fix…) 

Anyway, I am a helper by nature in situations like that, so I set about trying to find the remote.  IF THE LADIES WANTED NEWS, THE LADIES WOULD GET NEWS!!  Only, the staff at a memory care facility is too smart to leave a remote out in the open, so I couldn’t find it.  The staff was all busy finishing up the slow eaters’ dinners, so I filled up the bird feeder as I had come to do.  But the news still wasn’t on, and the troops were getting upset!!  So, I stood up in front of everyone and delivered a news report:  HELLO LADIES!  HERE IS TODAY’S NEWS.  IT IS VERY, VERY COLD OUTSIDE!!  BUT TOMORROW WILL BE SUNNY AND 55 DEGREES.  SO THAT IS GOOD NEWS!  AND IT IS ALMOST THANKSGIVING! 

My newscast went over very well!  They smiled and talked a bit about the weather.  But still, I am a “man of my word”, and I had told them I would get someone to turn on the news….  So, I went and found a staff member who explained to me that they NEVER watch the news there, or any shows with murder or scary movies and things like that.  “But they are asking for the NEWS…” said naïve me.  “Yes, they ask every night.  Mostly Evelyn and J*.  But we don’t ever watch the news.  It isn’t good for them to see all of that.  Please tell them a movie will start in a few minutes and there will be popcorn.” 

I marched back to the living room and announced that a movie and popcorn were coming up.  This made them happy.  I sat down and started some chit chat.  For some reason I said, “Hey, does anyone want to sing Christmas carols?  It is almost Christmas!”.  Some eyes lit up.  There were some “yes!” responses.  “Alrighty then!  Which song shall we start with???” I asked.

Crickets.  Blank stares.

OOOOOKKKK.  So, they were down to sing, but they weren’t going to put in any requests…

“How about Silent Night??” I tried.  “Oh yes!!” they replied.

And then me and a group of memory care patients started to sing.  We were quiet at first, but got louder as we went on.  We looked one another in the eyes.  We smiled genuine smiles.  And we sang – oh we sang.

And when the song was done, I smiled so big.  I clapped, and they clapped along.  “We sounded BEAUTIFUL!!” I exclaimed, and they agreed.  “What shall we try next?” I asked, not learning my lesson the first time that no one was going to pitch in ideas except me.  After a bit of silence, I suggested “Joy To The World”. 

That one sounded just as beautiful as the first.  So did “Jingle Bells”.  So did “Away in a Manger”.  And ladies who had sat the first song out started to join in.  Our chorus got louder.  Our smiles got bigger.  Ladies who don’t know what day of the week it is, what they used to do for a living, and where their room is in the nursing home magically knew the words to songs.  Even the lady doing the crossword puzzle with a cranky expression on her face had to look up, grin, and join in the singing.

It.  Was.  Lovely.

Staff members walked through to deliver medicine and listened in.  They seemed surprised that, without any official leadership, the girls were filling the home with the Christmas spirit.  The little lady seated next to me rubbed my back a few times and told me what a nice voice I have.  And a little old lady who had a visitor, it looked like her daughter, joined in from the sidelines.  She looked sad when the visitor left, but I gestured to her to come join us in the room and sit on the couch and she did.  And before long, she was singing and smiling, too.

And do you know what?  Every time we would finish a song, oftentimes “Silent Night”, someone would pipe up, “How about “Silent Night”???  Have we done that one yet??”. 

And we would begin again.

Silent night.  Holy night. 

Over and over and over.  For 40 minutes.

The retired music teacher, now nursing home resident, came and sat down next to Evelyn and even added a bit of harmony. Later I heard the music teacher lean over and ask Evelyn quietly how she would get home, because she didn’t think her car was there.  Evelyn said, “Why don’t you stay HERE??” in such a sweet, welcoming, happy voice.  It made my heart smile to know that Evelyn now thinks of that place as HOME.

And THAT is how I ended up in my car in the parking lot crying.  Because life is beautiful.  And sad.  And often both at the same time. 

Comments

Blue said…
You are beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Big hug from Saint Joe, Mo. Wish I could've been there to sing along!
Susie Evers said…
Susan, you are the most thoughtful person who cares so deeply for others and will go out of your way just to bring joy to so many, even those you don't know. You are the kindest woman with so much love In your heart, that reminds me so much of Annette.
Shelly G said…
Susan, thank you for sharing this story, these moments of grace. Reading this certainly bought joy to me, even while my eyes welled up--especially at the end when Evelyn encouraged her friend to "...just stay here." I can hear those beautiful old voices joining with yours, "Silent night, Holy night! All is calm, all is bright..." Lovely, just lovely. Hugs and love to you and your sissies.(and Evelyn) --Shelly p.s. I would much rather get your news report than from any other source!

Popular posts from this blog

The Presents

We are old. Giving gifts has always meant a lot to me.  I was raised in a household that valued gifts, valued “things” actually.  At Christmas time, the base of our tree would be piled hiiiigh with presents wrapped in brightly colored paper tied with neatly curled ribbons.    Birthdays would mean being spoiled by more gifts.   Even Valentine’s Day came with a present.   So, without being overtly taught, I learned that love was shown by giving something tangible.   As I became an adult, I noticed people older than me asking for things for the holidays that I thought were silly – cheese, wine, nuts…   “Those aren’t PRESENTS,” I remember thinking. “Presents are touchable, physical things – things to be KEPT, not to be consumed.”   So, when I found my life partner, I showered him with GIFTS.   Gifts wrapped just as I had been subconsciously taught must be wrapped in beautiful paper, tied tight with a bow.   But it didn’t take long for me to notice that my love and

We Ride At Dawn

I can’t be the only one feeling down. And stressed. And nervous. And angry. And confused. And just about every other negative emotion that could be listed. There is just so much ANGST in the world right now, especially with the upcoming elections in the US.   And sometimes (at least for deep feelers like myself) it just feels like a little too much to bear. But then I get a reminder. A reminder that even in the midst of all of these sleepless nights and fret – there IS good in the world. I got 2 reminders recently, and I thought I should share them in case you haven’t had any.   I don’t know, I guess with the hopes that the reminders I came across will help boost your spirits a bit, too. Here’s the first one. This hat. We came home the other day and this was hanging on our front doorknob.   Now, we have had a LOT of things left on our porch over the years – rusty cans of soup, brand new snow boots, and everything in between – but this was t

The Girl Who Can't Ride a Bike

I am “the girl who can’t ride a bike”. I guess to be accurate, I should say that I WAS “the girl who can’t ride a bike”.   But it was such a big part of my identity growing up, that the never formalized (but often teased about) nickname stuck in my psyche. You know how most kids love to jump on their bikes and pedal around the neighborhood once they have figured out how to balance, brake, and GO?   Yeah, that wasn’t me.   I wasn’t that kid. I am not sure WHAT really happened. The one thing I do remember is being on a bike in my family’s garage in Omaha, Nebraska trying to ride my bike.   It must’ve been winter, otherwise, why wouldn’t I have been outdoors??   But I think my foot slipped off the pedal and I know for sure my knee hit the handlebar.   It hurt.   I remember crying. But I am guessing that it hurt my pride more than it hurt my knee.   I think I was already past the age where kids were “supposed” to ride a bike.   But then and there I must’ve secretly made