Swarm the Senate

I am privileged.

Oh man, am I privileged.

Not only do I have healthy food to eat, I have a grocery store I can walk to to buy it.

I have a car and gas in the tank.

I have a roof over my head.  A cozy bed (with a warm electric blanket!). 

I have shoes (many pairs to choose from) and clothes to wear.

I GET that I am privileged. 

But days like today, oh man.  I am reminded how truly sheltered and naïve I am.

I am an “armchair warrior”.  I talk the talk.  I hang the signs on my front gate.  But when push comes to shove…

My sister Sherry and I joined an event called “Swarm the Senate” today.  It is a group of people (it seems mostly women) who have been showing up at the Hart Senate Office building in Washington DC at noon for the last 12 days.  They are peacefully demonstrating, demanding that trump be removed from office. 

I had been wanting to go but hadn’t made time to do it.  With work, sadness, and life in general, showing up at an office building in DC hadn’t made the top 10 on my list of priorities.  But when I made the itinerary for Sherry’s visit I thought “Swarm the Senate” was an event we could both get into, so I put it on the list. 

Sherry got us some amazing shirts specially made for us to wear to it.  We ate a nice breakfast out and played card games (privileged much??) before heading into DC to join the protest.  David, my sweetheart, dropped us off (so we wouldn’t have to metro in or find a place to park…  Ring a bell?  PRIVILEGED…) and then waited for us in the car.

My sister at Hart Senate Office Building when we first arrive

We were a little bit nervous.  Who would be there?  What would be expected of us?  Would it be awkward?  Scary??  Would we be ok going through security with our anti-trump shirts?

When we got in the building, we quickly found a small group congregating in the main atrium.  They were all wearing black shirts with white writing (oops – why hadn’t I paid better attention to the unwritten “dress code” that showed up in photos??).  They welcomed us and we milled about for a while.  Lots of people complimented our shirts (whew…).  Before long, it was time for instructions.  We gathered around as two people quietly explained what to expect.

“How many of you are here for the first time?”, one asked.  Sherry and I, along with several others, raised their hands.  We were greeted with smiles.  “And how many of you were arrested yesterday??”, one asked.  Around 5 hands went up.

Wait.  What?  Arrested HERE?  Just yesterday??  I had read that there had been arrests yesterday – but was it THIS somber group of black shirted people that had been carted away?

My mind started racing. 

The leaders explained to us that the Capitol Police seemed to be arbitrarily deciding what was “legal” and what was not.  One day, you could have a message on your t-shirt AND written on your hands.  The next day, only one was allowed – if you tried for t-shirt AND hands that was grounds for arrest…

An amazing woman - a veteran who is very involved in the movement.  Her hands show writing left over from yesterday.

We were told to be SILENT.  That PROTEST was not allowed, but SILENT PROTEST was.  We learned the plan was to stand in lines, then when we got the signal, to form a circle.  We were told that some people would be reading quotes aloud – statements that Republican senators made AGAINST trump in 2016.  And those were the very same senators who are now kissing his ass and agreeing with everything he does. 

And before long it was time to start.  We made our silent lines.  We stood facing forward – led by a group of people whose t-shirts spelled out “I M P E A C H    t R U M P”.  Sherry and I stood next to each other.  I tried to look straight ahead, but caught myself glancing to the side to see Capitol police officers.  I counted 8 of them.  All standing – silently watching us as we stood.

We were brave.  We were strong.  We were silent.

And then in walked about 50 Capitol police officers.  They didn’t actually “walk” in.  It felt more like a “march”.  A Nazi march.  50 Capitol police officers, in their uniforms and brightly colored safety vests, marched in along the wall.  And stared.  Quietly stared.

I don’t know if they were MOCKING us, trying to frighten us, or what.

But I, the little privileged white woman, was scared.

My first thought was – “IS THIS THE TIME TO EXIT?  There are about 50 of them and maybe 100 of us.  That means each of them takes 2 of us – one on each arm – and we are all arrested.”

I did NOT want to be arrested.  I have never been arrested.  I have had less than a handful of stupid TRAFFIC TICKETS in my life.  Being ARRESTED did not sound bold, or brave, or beneficial to me at the moment.  It sounded scary and dangerous…

So, I seriously thought about exiting.  Rushing to the side, grabbing my coat and my sister, and getting the hell out of there.

But for some reason I stood.  As did everyone else.  The 2 people who appeared to be the main organizers broke from the formation and consulted (it seemed to me like they had not been expecting so much police presence either).  Then they returned to their places.  And one of them bravely began what had been planned – the reading aloud of the Republican statements. 

She walked among us as she read.  I listened in awe at her bravery. 

And I feared she would stop.  Stop in front of me – hand me the card – and indicate it was MY turn to be brave.  To read ALOUD in what was meant to be a silent protest.  To risk being arrested…

Finally, it was time to form our circle.  And the leaders’ voices rang out, “Is anyone from Kansas?  Would someone like to read this Kansas Senator’s comment about trump?” and a brave hand would go up.  “Is anyone from Colorado??”…  And I worried and fretted that she would ask, “Is anyone from Virginia?” or “Is anyone from Nebraska?” and I would have to choose – was I brave enough to speak up?  Could I talk without my voice quivering?  Was I WILLING to speak aloud in a silent protest and risk being arrested???

The circle

The phalanx of officers exited without reason, leaving behind the original gang of around 8.

The protestors remained.  And, as I feared, the Nebraska senator was called out.  “Is anyone from Nebraska??”.  Silence.  No hands raised.  My sister and I were both born and raised in Omaha, she still lives in the area, but we kept our hands to our sides.  “Nebraska people?”.

Nothing.

Then a proxy spoke up.  The person next to me was willing to read aloud Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse’s critical remarks about trump, before he became president and Sasse all of the sudden agreed with everything he said.

Whew. 

I didn’t have to step out on the ledge. 

I didn’t have to be bold. 

I didn’t have to be brave.

And I didn’t have to risk my “perfect” record and get arrested.

When the readings were done we were finished.  The group would be heading over to Mitch McConnell’s office to “hold space” and let him know that the majority of America was against him and that trump should be impeached.

But Sherry and I snuck out. 

Not arrested.

Not in the spotlight.

But relieved we had once again been “safe”.  And thankful for our privilege. 

Ready to stand up again.

And forever grateful for the women throughout history who are so much braver than I am.  Willing to STAND UP.  SPEAK OUT.  And fight.  

Thank you.  

A brave woman who stood next to me in the circle