Random Thoughts

One of my friends remarked to me today, “You love SO hard!”. That four word sentence encapsulates it – I love so hard .   And when a person LOVES hard, they GRIEVE hard.   They JOY hard.   They HAPPY hard.   And they CRY hard. I am thankful to feel as strongly as I feel.   But understanding that is who I am means having to make SPACE for myself.   Having to carve out time, sometimes physically on the calendar, to allow myself to feel. Today was one of those days. My sister Annette should have turned 59 years old today.   But brain cancer totally ripped her off and stole her from us last December.   Today was our first May 15 th without her.   My sister Sherry and I had planned to be together for this milestone but Covid 19 made that impossible.   So today, each in our own way, we celebrated the sister that we love, that we grieve for.   Today we celebrated ANNETTE DAY. My plan was to fill the day d...

I started a project the other day.   It’s something a kindergartner could easily do, yet it has taken me over a week already. I am gluing little glass “bead” token things around the rim of a table I got for free from a neighbor.   I am, as David says, “bedazzling a table”. Mind you, when I accepted this table, it was reportedly to display items on at the Kindness Yard Sale this summer.   Last year I didn’t have enough tables to put things on.   But even before we got the table home , my mind was envisioning a project.   One that I couldn’t admit out loud, because let’s be honest, I have a shit-ton of unfinished projects, and we do NOT need any more furniture for inside OR outside the house right now… But I got those little glass tokens out.   They are leftovers from when my sissies and I went crazy mosaic-ing stuff last year!   We all did a bowling ball and I also did a planter.   And these little leftover beads had been hoarded by ...

Well, it’s rolled around again.   It’s THAT DAY, you know, the one where I remind you how lucky you are if your mom is still alive. Look – I do not want to make you feel guilty.   Seriously I don’t.   But if we are being honest here I will admit that you having a living mom makes me a bit (more than a bit…) jealous.   I know times are tough for everyone right now.   If your mom is in a nursing home you can’t get in to visit her.   If your mom lives in another state you can’t fly to see her.   Heck, even if your mom lives right across town you can’t give her a proper hug (at least you shouldn’t!).   It sucks. But do you know what sucks worse??   When your mom is dead.   When you know that there is no “end to the distance”.   When the only time you can see your mom is in dreams and that is very rare and when you wake-up she is still dead.   It is like social distancing forever.   How does that sound? My ...