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Annette Day 2020


One of my friends remarked to me today, “You love SO hard!”.

That four word sentence encapsulates it – I love so hard. 

And when a person LOVES hard, they GRIEVE hard.  They JOY hard.  They HAPPY hard.  And they CRY hard.

I am thankful to feel as strongly as I feel.  But understanding that is who I am means having to make SPACE for myself.  Having to carve out time, sometimes physically on the calendar, to allow myself to feel.

Today was one of those days.



My sister Annette should have turned 59 years old today.  But brain cancer totally ripped her off and stole her from us last December.  Today was our first May 15th without her.  My sister Sherry and I had planned to be together for this milestone but Covid 19 made that impossible.  So today, each in our own way, we celebrated the sister that we love, that we grieve for.  Today we celebrated ANNETTE DAY.

My plan was to fill the day doing things she loved.  Things that would make me think of her and smile.  So that is exactly what I did.

I started the day by drinking out of a coffee mug with a photo of the Thompson sissies on it, then putting on my “Life is Short – Take the Trip, Buy the Shoes, Eat the Cake” t-shirt that all 3 sisters have.  I panicked for a minute when I couldn’t find MY t-shirt, then remembered that I had inherited Annette’s and put it on.  I felt like I was being wrapped in her arms.  I smelled the shirt, hoping to smell my sister there, but her scent had been washed away.  (Then I found my own shirt, which fits me better, and changed.)  (I also wore capri jeans that are too tight, which made me laugh remembering trying to help her squeeze into her capris the last couple of months of her life when steroids and snacks meant she should have gone up a size or two…)  I wore perfume that is similar to her favorite scent.  I used hair mousse of hers that I inherited (and I even tried to “do my hair” like she would by blow drying it, but gave up mid-way because let’s face it, I am just not a “done hair” girl). 

My sissies cup - that's Annette and Sherry you see

I did something nice for kids today (she adored kids) – I delivered 10 $5 Target gift cards (purchased with proceeds from the Kindness Yard Sale) to a public school that is handing out food for families of their students.  I asked them to give the next 10 families the cards, and they smiled and said it would be like a Cracker Jack treat in the bags!  Perfect.

I painted rocks today.  The last couple years of Annette’s life she really got into rock painting.  We would paint them, put little notes on them, and hide them.  We really liked hiding them at the Cancer Center when she went for treatments.  Hers were always the best.  Mine pale in comparison, but I tried!  David and I walked around the neighborhood and hid them (9 painted rocks, 1 big painted pinecone, and 5 painted acorns!).  I hope people find them and post them!



Can you see where I hid it??
(A note on rocks – I inherited a super pretty one that she painted.  I have it sitting in my home office where I see it every day.  And each time I look at it, I worry that it does not have a sealing coat on it.  but I have been super afraid to paint the sealer – afraid I would ruin the paint and  she is not here to make a new one.  But yesterday I got up enough nerve to seal it and it turned out great.)

THIS is the beautiful one SHE made.  Compare that to my crap ones above...
We went to SONIC today.  She loved Sonic drinks.  We have not eaten out (even carry out) for 2 ½ months since we have been in quarantine, but tonight we drove half an hour to the closest Sonic and waited in the drive thru line ANOTHER half an hour to get our treat for Annette Day. 



I put some books in Little Free Libraries today.  She made the BEST Little Free Library in the world for her daughter.  I used to take photos of the Little Libraries I found and send them to her and we would smile knowing that NONE OF THEM could compare to the one she made. 

And soon, to finish off my inaugural Annette Day celebration, I will paint my nails (she actually painted my nails every night one year in high school, and many years later we were all so proud of her for going to nail school). And I will DRINK A MARGARITA.  Heck, I might even shop a bit online (she loved, loved, loved to shop).

It was a SANGRIA for this photo, but a margarita was much more common.
One thing I thought about today was 2019.  She took to painting 2019 on the bottom of all of her rocks after she was diagnosed.  She would write whatever uplifting message she wanted, then date them 2019.  For some reason it bothered me.  Each time I saw her do it I silently wondered WHY.  “Rocks don’t need a date,” I thought.  I don’t remember ever saying it out loud to her, but she must have sensed my judgement of it because once she said something.  It was like, “The year is important to me now.  I do not have a lot of time.  2019 is important”. 

A little painting she made - 2019
I am sorry to have judged, sissy.  You are right.  Each day, each year, each moment is important.

So, on May 15th, I will REMEMBER HER.  Her big smile.  Infectious laugh.  Fierce loyalty to her friends.  Brave acceptance of her cancer.  And immense love in her heart.

A photo recreation that we both love - made us laugh SO HARD to do, and her hips were never the same after holding that pose.  LOVE YOU SISSY!


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