I had the sweetest thing happen to me today. It reminded me of the importance of COMMUNITY. I share it here in case you, too, need a reminder of how surrounding yourself with caring humans can make your world a better place.
Someone knocked on our front door this morning. This is not unusual, our home has become a “community center” of sorts and we get a lot of doorbell rings and knocks. This time when I went to answer the door, I was greeted by a Pantry guest that I know as “Mr. Corned Beef”. I call him this (not to his face, it is my nickname for him) because his favorite thing to get at the pantry is…. You guessed it - corned beef!
Now, Mr. Corned Beef doesn’t
usually come to the door. He stops by
the pantry periodically and gets what he needs, then moves on. If I see him out there I often pop out to say
hello (and ask if he needs corned beef, which he usually does). We’ve had some nice conversations. He is a very snazzy dresser, and when I remarked
about that to him one time, he told me that he picks out his outfit for the next
day the night before. Ahhhh, see, the
things you learn when you talk to strangers!!
I know from talking with
him that he loves old coins and is quite proud of the wheat pennies that he has
found on the streets. He finds it
remarkable that people would pass by them on the ground and not stoop down to
pick them up. They are, after all, “very
valuable!!”. He knows the year and the
value of each of them and carries them proudly in his pocket.
A neighbor of ours was
cleaning out a home a few months ago and asked if there was anything that
Kindness Activist would like from it. There
was a collection of old pennies, so of course I thought of Mr. Corned Beef and
asked for those. I saved them for a few
months because I didn’t see him pass by.
Then finally, last week, I
saw him at the pantry. I ran out to stop
him before he walked off. “I have a gift
for you!! Something special!” I told
him, and I asked him to wait while I ran to get it.
He was very happy as he
put the old coins in his bag and thanked me.
I could just imagine what fun he would have that evening pouring over
them – finding treasure after treasure after valuable treasure.
Fast forward to today,
when his knock on the door had a sense of urgency to it. He was upset as he explained a predicament he
was in.
“You need to call the
police!” he told me. “They came and took
those pennies! They think I stole
them from you. You need to call them and
tell them you GAVE THEM TO ME.”
Oh my. What had happened here? I probed for some details. Apparently, in his mind, his friend must’ve
told the police that he stole the coins.
Then the police, working in tandem with his landlord, went into his
apartment to retrieve them.
Thinking rationally, this
story didn’t appear to make sense. But to
him it was obviously very, very real and he was irate. Those pennies were HIS!
“Maybe your friend took
them??” I asked gently. But no, he did
not think his friend would do such a thing.
I NEEDED to call the police to make sure they knew that he did not
steal those coins.
I took down his
information – name and address. I told
him I would call the police and sort it out for him. Honestly, I was not sure HOW to do that or
WHAT to do, but I had made a promise, so I set about doing it.
I must add here that I understand
that this man’s lived experiences are much, much different than my own. He is from a different era. He is from a time when black men such as
himself were not given respect, were not presumed innocent. And the fact that the police now, in his
mind, suspected him of stealing was a very dangerous thing.
So, I called the
non-emergency number of the police.
It was awkward… I tried to explain the situation to the call
taker, and when I paused, there was silence.
For several seconds – silence. I thought
maybe the person had hung up on me. But
no, they were still there, they just were not sure what to make of this situation. “Ma’am,” the call handler said, “The police
would be contacting YOU if they thought this person stole from you.”
“Yes, yes, I understand that. However, in this gentleman’s mind, this is
what has happened. I want to make sure that
he is safe.”
“Would you like to file a
report??”
“Well, no. I do not want to make this worse than it
already is… I just, I don’t know. I TOLD HIM I would call… I just don’t want him thinking that the police
are after him…”.
The call taker ended up
giving me the phone number for the Investigations Unit. Maybe this was his way of “passing the buck”,
I don’t know, but it ended up being the exact right thing to do.
I nervously called
Investigations. I introduced myself and
started to tell the story of what was happening (again). But the woman on the other end of the phone
said, “Wait a minute – you are Susan Gaines?
Like, Susan Gaines in Buy Nothing?”.
“Yessss! Are you in Buy Nothing, too??” I laughed.
“Yes I am! Your husband came and picked up some gray
boots from me that were for you.”
“I WEAR THOSE BOOTS ALL OF
THE TIME! I LOVE THEM! Thank you!!”
Community. Connection.
And all of the sudden, the
story I needed to report did not seem as strange. Did not feel as awkward to recount. And the perceived problem did not seem as
impossible to solve.
The woman listened
intently and was very kind. She
explained that the police would never go into a home without a warrant. We talked about it a bit and she offered to
send an email to officers explaining the situation. I asked that she tell them to just talk to my
friend a bit if they see him, and let him know that they understand and believe
that the coins were a GIFT to him and they know he did not steal them.
Then she offered something
even more kind. She gave me her direct phone
number and asked that I give it to him next time I see him. “I will talk to him,” she said. “Have him call me. I will explain it to him.”
So caring. So kind.
And so respectful.
Mr. Corned Beef told me
today as he was leaving that he didn’t sleep at all last night. He was upset at the injustice. I hope that he can get some rest
tonight. I hope that he can sense that
he is respected and cared for and has COMMUNITY.
Because we all deserve
that.
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