We had a CRAZY January 2015. I had gotten coveted tickets to see “Ellen”
taping in LA for me, my sisters, and my partner David. Since we were flying all the way across
country, I decided we should try and make this vacation the TACKIEST trip ever and
do anything and everything LA we could find to do! So I went searched to see if there were any
other TV shows we could go see tapings of.
As luck would have it, I got us tickets to THE PRICE IS RIGHT! We are not fans of that show, but it does
seem like a classic, doesn’t it?? Secretly,
we were all hoping my sister Annette would get called down. But lo and behold whose name got called? DAVID’S!
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| Our posse in the photo taken before they filmed our episode. We are standing in front of a green screen and they told us to look excited - as if we just won a new car. I think we did pretty well, don't you? My sister Sherry is in the back, sister Annette in the front, David in the middle, and me in front of the "wheel" (which really wasn't THERE for this photo...) |
My sisters and I busted out laughing when they
called him – David has watched the show exactly twice in the last 3 decades and
those were the week before we went on the trip just to “prep” so we would
understand what was going on! Also, he
knows the price of NOTHING – in fact he has been saying, “Man, that seems pricey
to me. Maybe I am just getting old and
don’t know the cost of stuff anymore…” for about the last year. So yeah – HE got called down!!
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| Still a fake photo - again in front of the green screen before we entered the studio. His number in line was 93 - you get to take off your number right before taping starts. I find this a hilarious photo because it looks like his HEAD is Photoshopped on.
David made this hilarious “mash-up” video of his moment in The Price is Right spotlight:
The episode taped January 5 and finally aired
March 13. We all had to sign
non-disclosure agreements saying we would not reveal if we got called down or
won anything until after the show aired, so it was 3 months of keeping a fun secret! The episode is now available online and you
can see it here:
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| Us celebrating after the taping. We went out to eat in our matching shirts and dorky name tags. It was great. |
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| They make you use the name on your driver's license for your nametag, so Sherry had to be Sheryl.... |
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| Annette talked them into giving her a BACK-UP perfect non-used nametag to keep! |
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| Yeah - I was pretty proud of my nametag. |
“So, let me explain what that Price is Right
experience was from my perspective.
To begin with, I had a bad sinus cold since we
arrived in LA, so my nose was stuffed up and my ears had never returned to
their un-stuffed hearing function since the plane descended from 30,000 feet.
Coincidentally, the host (Drew Carey) was recovering from laryngitis (as
one does, I presume, when you are getting paid big bucks per episode, and the
producer asks "Are you able to do this show today, or too sick?").
So I was essentially flying by the seat of my pants, not hearing anything
that wasn't directly addressed to me, and trying to catch whenever I might be
being prompted to respond to in some way. When that happened, I tried to
hit the ball back with some response that was (1) appropriate and (2)
ENTHUSIASTIC!
That, as I understood it, was my character
description for this improvisational theatre piece that I seemed to have
stumbled into. I mean, here was the set, clearly; there was my acting
partner (Drew), and there was the audience (the cameras). There was also
the trusty sidekick, in the form of the studio audience, who would teem and
shout in the moments when I was supposed to make some choice, before giving an
answer. And each time such a moment of decision occurred, I would look
out at the sea of studio audience strangers, and they would all be shouting and
waving arms and hands with fingers held up in a soup of projected emotional
attitudes that was comprised of various degrees (as I experienced it) of
"THIS IS FABULOUSLY EXCITING!" and "PICK THREE! PICK
THREE!" and "YOUR PANTS ARE ON FIRE!" and "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!"
and "LOOK AT MEEE!" and "YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE SCREWING IT
UP!!!" and "AHYEEEEE" and
"HEY-BATTABATTA-SWINGG-BATTABATTA..!" Focusing on the objective
(the game in question) was well beyond me.
There was also my posse in the crowd (Susan
and her sisters), whom I could sometimes pick out. Susan was sending
petrified "I don't know what you should do" and "I love
you" signals – reassuring, but not terribly informative. But her
sister – a Price is Right devotee, and shopaholic, would offer her suggestion
of a best guess – which I pretty much just then took as my script, and
delivered in the performance, in what seemed the appropriate timing, and with
ENTHUSIASM! In this way, we (my scene partner Drew and I) worked our way
through the scene of mounting tension until what seemed like it might be headed
for a happy ending took an abrupt turn into that "surprise – you
lose!" experience that feels like the musical sting in "Book of
Mormon" when Arnold learns his mission will be in Uganda (music-grinds-to-a-halt;
Harpo-Marx-horn).
Then the narrative was recapitulated in
miniature with the "Big Wheel" section, and we were done! I
exited, still with the sort of bumbling, hapless, good-natured attitude that I
had brought on stage at the beginning, and my "15-minutes-of-fame"
account is now left with about 5 minutes remaining to use! It was all
very much like a vague hallucinogenic experience, and then it was over.
Except for the paperwork.
After the show, the winners have to go in to
an area where a lady explains (way too fast to actually pay attention to) what
this means for you. I presume it is essentially this: "don't talk
about it, don't be a dick, sign this paperwork, and pay your taxes".
So I signed. You have to pay California state tax of 7% for them to
even release your gift(s), which you'll get about 6 weeks after the air date.
For me that was about $105, I think, for my free coffee-maker and
electric skateboard. Hey – I could have won the collection of women's
designer shoes! Did not get the car, though. On the upside, did not
have to find the $1500 for the taxes that would have meant, either. And,
got to walk out at the end of it and rejoin my friends in the California
sunshine. Which was really the best part of all (awww!).
Watching myself when it aired was another odd
experience (as I had not really been 'present' through the hallucination of it
happening). It turns out I look much less like the charming smooth guy I
imagine, and more like some slack-jawed, genial, loose-limbed gibbon on stage!
And when all the other contestants are standing normally by the Big
Wheel, I seem to be bobbing restlessly like one of those avatars in a WII game!
Apparently, like some radioactive element, I do not have an energy level
of complete rest on stage.
Things you didn't know about the show?
Well the set is REALLY old and crappy! The 'junior high prom"
level of set construction does not come through on screen (so why throw more
money at it?), but it really is surprisingly shabby/tawdry. Though why I
expected it to exhibit Downton Abbey production values I don't know. The
magic of television, I guess. Also, they edit a fair bit of time out when
the contestant is looking out at the sea of studio audience and they are
throwing suggestions (like the guy at the end of the dunking booth looks at the
people throwing baseballs at him). And maybe you DID know this, but
almost all of the people in the audience are SERIOUS, AVID Price is Right
groupies! They know prices, they know history, they even know that prizes
get recycled ("that spa was in another show"), so if you memorize the
exact prices of all the prizes…. it's like counting cards in Vegas, I guess…
What a wonderful rich diversity is this human race!
Of course we had done some homework before our
arrival (and by "we" I mean of course Susan). A friend of a
friend who is in the business clued us in that the producers of such shows are
scanning and interviewing all the audience members as they wait (a couple of
hours) in line to go into the show. So when the interviewing person got
to our section of the line and asked me what my favorite game on the show was
(subtext: do you actually WATCH the show fanatically?) I answered with the only
game I remembered from the two episodes we watched to prep before coming.
"Oh that one where they flip the numbers from one side to the other?"
"You mean "Flip-Flop"?", she asked. "YEAH! I
LOVE THAT ONE – FLIP-FLOP!" (with enthusiasm). And that, my friends,
is how you get tagged as a potential pick from the audience. (For more
tips on how to make millions working the TV game show circuit, buy my upcoming
book "Gamesmanship – How to make money writing a book about losing on TV
game shows"!)
And if you want to know more, I am starting a
personal consulting service based on the book…
Yours in Celebrity,
-
David.
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| The BIG (ok, not so big) WINNER! |
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| Bonus photo - my pre-show green screen shot featuring my infamous WINNER pose, which, alas, I did not get to demonstrate on national tv.... |
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