I am at the Special Olympics USA Games in Orlando, Florida. I am 3 days in, one more day left.
I KNOW I should not write about my experiences yet, and I have a whole other day to learn and observe. But I keep thinking about things that I do not want to forget, and my way of dealing with that when it happens is to WRITE. So here we go.
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| Lighting the flame at the opening ceremony - LET THE GAMES BEGIN! (Not my photo) |
This is my first real experience with the Special Olympics. I have known of it since I was a child – my friend Chad competed in the local Special Olympics when we were growing up. But I have never experienced it first-hand until now.
Of course, perhaps like you, I had some preconceived ideas about what the games would be like before I came. And, I must be honest, some of those assumptions were negative. I will not get into those here as I am still trying to process a lot and understand if some of my hypotheses are true. But what I WILL share now is what I know for certain:
· There is joy – and there is JOY.
· There is confidence – and there is CONFIDENCE.
· And there is being 100% truly yourself, not ashamed, unaffected by what others think, being genuinely YOU.
And the athletes at the Special Olympics exemplify all of those behaviors.
I have seen so many examples of how these athletes do not demonstrate disability, but a great big ABILITY, one that those of us who are not intellectually disabled really need to examine and learn from. These athletes are amazingly joyful. Astoundingly proud. Incredibly confident. And ever so genuine.
They inspire me – which I hate to write… Saying you are “inspired” by a person with a disability is so trite, offensive even. “Inspired” by what? Their ability to live what you consider a “normal” life – go to school, hold a job, live alone?? I would never say I was “inspired” by any of those things.
What I am inspired by in these athletes are their character traits. I see so many behaviors in them that those of us who are not disabled, especially adults, could not confidently do. Examples:
1. Have you ever seen a female cheerleader who was completely bald? I hadn’t either. Cheerleading was introduced as a sport in this year’s Special Olympics, complete with the glitz, glitter, and huge hair bows. But what happens when one of your teammates is completely bald – what does she do with the bow? Well, if you are confident, bold, and proud like a cheerleader I saw today, you put the bow on a stretchy thin headband and, instead of clipping it onto a long bouncy ponytail like the rest of your squad, you stretch it around you head and sport it proudly. In fact, this athlete was so proud of her bow on a headband that I spied her pointing to it and showing it off to someone across the room.
Would a non-disabled, bald woman do that? Very few could rock the look as confidently as this cheerleader did. Instead, we would hide the reality of our bald head – put on a wig, a scarf, or more likely still (and much sadder), not try out for cheerleading because we didn’t look like all of the others on the team.
2. The cocky behavior of some male athletes has always bothered me. You know, the swagger, the chest pounding, the “look how many muscles I have” sort of thing. Well, today I witnessed examples of the exact same behavior exhibited by athletes in the power lifting competition of the Special Olympics. Only today, instead of bothersome, it was lovely. The assistants would prepare the weights on the bar as the announcer read the name of the next athlete and a large photo of them was displayed on a screen. We would learn how much weight they were going attempt to squat, and then the athlete would make a grand entrance. These men pumped their fists in the air. Encouraged the crowd to scream louder. Showed us their muscles. Smiled big, broad smiles. And then tried their very hardest (and usually succeeded) to do the lift. And the crowd went wild! We all clapped and cheered as loud as we could. Often the successful athletes would give their coaches big, sincere hugs. Not the high fives or the butt slaps we see other male athletes exchange, but real hugs.
What made the same exact gestures and behaviors that I see other male athletes do so much more acceptable and even a reason to celebrate today? I think it was because usually when I see these behaviors they are to show off, to “prove” ones’ manliness, to impress, to show without a shadow of a doubt that this athlete is the best in the room. But when today’s athletes walked onstage and showcased their muscles, fist pumping toward their fans in the audience, instead of the gestures meaning “I am better than you, more manly, stronger”, they seemed to mean, “I am proud! I am genuine! I am going to try my very best and I hope you cheer me on!!”. It was great.
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| Athletes and Partners at Opening Ceremony (not my photo) |
3. I got to see some Special Olympic athletes practice their gymnastic routines today. It was perfect. I was a gymnast as a child and have always liked watching that sport in the Olympics. But these gymnasts today were amazing. Amazing not only for their talent, but their FEARLESSNESS.
No – I don’t mean “fearless” as if they were trying triple flips or spinning dismounts from the beam. Their fearlessness was BEING THEMSELVES and being HAPPY with who they were, which is something that is LOST on so many women. The majority of us do everything we can to be someone we are NOT. We wear loads of make-up. We wear push-up, padded bras. We straighten our hair, or curl our hair, or put loads of product in our hair… We don’t wear horizontal stripes or tight clothes because they “make us look bigger”. We wear Spanx to look thinner. We have surgery to look younger.
But these gymnasts today – they. Were. Brilliant. They were perfectly themselves. Many of them were not what society would think of as having a “perfect figure” (does anyone really have that??). But even so, they proudly wore their shiny, sparkly leotards as they twirled and jumped. And their skills were not fancy. Some of their floor routines included more running across the mat then anything else. But they ran with CONFIDENCE – starting in one corner with a little hop, then barreling across the floor like Simone Biles. Only, instead of ending the run with a round-off, handspring, flip, flip, flip – they sometimes ended the run with a simple jump. They jumped with JOY. They clapped their hands to the fun part of the music with HAPPINESS. They were great.
I particularly loved watching one gymnast caught up in a tune that was playing in the background before the official practice round began. She danced so confidently! You know the saying, “Dance as if no one is watching”? Here she was, in her tight leotard, in a gym full of other girls she will be competing against tomorrow, with fans in the stands watching, photographers and videographers in the room, and she started grooving. She danced for HERSELF, for joy. She danced as if no one was watching. I have a feeling she dances in a lot of places. I wish I knew her personally – I think she and I would get along great.
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| Pure joy at the opening ceremony (not my photo) |
The athletes were so excited! They were ready to jump into that circle and give that metal ball all they had. Before she started, the first competitor looked at the area in front of her where she was to throw and said out loud to no one in particular, “I am going to throw this so far!!!!”. She was so confident.
Another athlete threw, then would not leave the active area and go to the end of the line as she was supposed to. She really wanted to know how far she had thrown, so the official told her the distance. But track and field uses metric, and her coach must not use metric in practice, because when she heard the number she said, “How much is that??”. She wanted someone to convert it for her. The official said, “I am not sure,” trying to convince the girl to get back in line for her next throw. But she was persistent and finally found a worker with a cell phone who did the math for her. It was a good display of persistence and confidence that many of us lack.
I found it very interesting that I only saw one athlete today who seemed embarrassed by her performance. I saw weightlifters fail at their attempt, but they were not ashamed or sad, just determined to try again. I saw gymnasts forget their routines, but they didn’t seem ashamed or embarrassed, they just looked the direction of their coach and pleaded, “What is next???” with their eyes. I saw girls who shakily walked the length of the beam and fell off when turning – they jumped back up without a tear. I saw floor routines that finished after the music, but the most confident girls just kept going until they did their last moves in silence, and they didn’t get up with red cheeks or sunken shoulders.
But ONE GIRL was embarrassed. And the thing is, she was not an athlete with an intellectual disability. You see, there are some athletes at the Special Olympics that are called “partners”. They train and compete with the other athletes who have intellectual disabilities whose skills closely match theirs. The concept is called “unified sports” and it is becoming more and more common (you can read more about it here: Unified Sports
So, the girl who was ashamed of her performance (a partner) had been accidentally placed in the wrong shot-put group (“flight”). Instead of putting with a group of kids whose skill levels matched hers, she got placed in a group with athletes whose skills were much more advanced. So, the others in her flight would throw super far, and when it was her turn, the shot would land before the first line.
She was mortified… I reminded her that it was ok, these weren’t the people she was really competing with. She should just try to get a bit better with each of her 3 throws today. But she was so embarrassed. She hunched over more and more… She didn’t take time to prepare before she threw (making the throws even worse I am sure). She just wanted it to be over so she could be invisible as soon as possible.
I can’t help but think that if she had been an actual Special Olympics athlete, she would have handled the situation with much more confidence and grace. She would’ve told the other people in line that they did great. She would’ve told me about where she lives and who was cheering for her in the stands. But she wouldn’t have felt lesser than. She wouldn’t have been mortified. She would have been PROUD, and CONFIDENT, and HAPPY.
Last example, I promise.
5. During the opening ceremony, an athlete with Down’s Syndrome proudly marched by with his group during the entrance parade. When he got to the area where his dad was standing on the sidelines, dad hollered to him to look his direction for a photo.
Only, instead of just looking at his dad, the athlete, a large, grown man, RAN to his father (ran right off the field) and hugged him sooooo tight. He was so happy to see him!! A fellow athlete had to keep pulling him back onto the field where he was supposed to be. But it was beautiful. The reality is that he had likely only been a couple of hours since seeing his dad, but the joy in his run toward him was palpable. After the long hug, he smiled for photos. It was a beautiful sight, and reminded me that some people with intellectual disabilities demonstrate how to follow your HEART. No embarrassment. No shame for acting “inappropriately”. No worries about what others will think of you. Just PURE, unadulterated HONESTY. And pure love.
Those are the thoughts and lessons that have been swirling around in my head. I hope they inspired you even 1/10 as much as these athletes have inspired me.
Note: I have not taken any photos at the games, because it feels like a violation of peoples’ privacy. The photos used here are not mine, they were published online.
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