We all have our “thinking
spaces”. For some it is in nature. For my sweetheart it is in the shower. For me, it’s taking walks. And I just got back from a long one, which means
I have had some thinking time.
Today I thought about
death. It’s not a new topic to me, in
fact my brain sometimes jumps to it even when I wish it wouldn’t, and I have to
squeeze my eyes shut and wish the thoughts away. But today I allowed them to stay, tried to “welcome”
them, as much as one can welcome thoughts of death.
And I began thinking about
things I might MISS after I die. My rational
brain quickly jumped in to correct my day dreaming – “You can’t MISS anything
after you are dead,” it correctly asserted.
Alright then, if I won’t actually MISS
them in the sense that I currently understand missing, what things might I be sad
or disappointed I could no longer
experience (yes, I know that sadness and disappointment won’t be emotions available
to me beyond the grave either, but I let myself go with it…). Putting aside the obvious PEOPLE I would be
sad not to see again, what EXPERIENCES would I be sad about losing…
What might I be sad to no
longer be able to experience…
- The sound of birds for sure. Chirping, cawing, wings flapping, even the
wood pecker nibbling on our peach tree branch.
Yes, the sound of birds would be a big loss.
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| Mrs. Dove on our porch |
- The feeling of warm ocean water
all around me, hugging me. The waves,
the salt, the warm.
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| Sunrise at the ocean - water is waiting for me to run in |
- The change of seasons from
winter to spring – the colors of the first flowers popping out of nowhere.
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| Yellow and orange - taken on today's walk |
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| Today's view of our Dogwood tree |
- A rainbow against a dark, stormy sky.
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| It's not a dark sky, but it is a rainbow from my past that is gorgeous |
- A nibble of a good parmesan,
soft brie, or tangy cheddar.
- The smell of freshly mowed
grass.
- The first sip of a glass
of red wine.
- The sight of the huge red
maple tree in the yard across from us turning from green, to red, orange and
yellow each autumn.
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| The tree across the street from our kitchen window in all its glory (photo circa 2013) |
- And the smell of espresso
or cappuccino wafting up from a ceramic cup on a café table.
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| Breakfast of espresso and low quats on our trip to Cyprus |
The things I imagined “missing”
are staples of my life. Things I experience
with regularity, and that I love. So, I decided
that instead of being sad that someday I will inevitably be unable to experience
them anymore, I would DELIGHT in
experiencing them NOW. When I find myself looking at a rainbow, I will
breathe it in. Not the rainbow itself – but
the whole experience of being there. When I eat warm bread with butter, I will savor it even more. When I splash in the ocean, I will take time
to feel the water.
What will you “miss” after
your death? Not people, but experiences? If you
would like to share some here as comments, it would delight me to see them. And if you want to keep them to yourself, that
is perfectly fine. I just hope that you
will make time and space in your life now,
while you are living, to experience
them. They are waiting for you – grab them.
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