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Firsts. And Lasts.


I have been thinking a lot this past week on what seems to be an over-emphasis on FIRSTs in our culture.

The first steps.

The first tooth.

The first born.

The first time to have sex.

The first haircut.

The first word.

The first car.

The first time to roll over.

First.  First.  First.  We photograph them.  We brag about them.  Heck, we even make BOOKS about them.



And I have wondered why the lack of acknowledging the LASTs…

Is it because the LASTs are so scary?  Too frightening to confront?

The last time to drive.

The last time to speak to your loved ones.

The last smile

The last time to walk.  To run.  To jump.

The last time to shop.

The last time to kiss.  To hug.  To make love.

The last vacation.

The last meal.

If we could embrace the LASTs as much as we do the FIRSTs, would that make them more meaningful?  More tender?  Might they not be as frightening to us?  If the lasts were something to cherish as much as the firsts, would our perspective on them change to something to be celebrated instead of mourn?

Today we surrounded my sister as she took her last breath.

And in the days prior, I was there for her last bite.  Her last drink.  Her last big foray out into the “real world”.    

It is hard to fathom that I have given her the last kiss.

Seen her smile for the last time.

Hugged her the last time.

And heard her incredible laugh the last time.

But I have.  She is gone.  No more firsts, no more lasts.

I hope that the memory of her last year – savoring her lasts – sticks with me and inspires me to focus more on every little thing.  Because each tiny thing could be a last.

May memories of Annette’s bold determination and spirit of life since diagnosis inspire us ALL to be more mindful of every day, every thing, every possible last.

Love you, sissy.  The Thompson Sisters will never be quite as strong ever again.   



Comments

PaHusker said…
This is beautiful. What a loving tribute to your sister. God bless you all and hold you in his loving hands in this difficult time.
Kath A said…
Beautifully stated Susan! Because we too are remembering firsts and lasts in our family, we can totally relate to what you are experiencing, feeling, cherishing. There would never be any lasts if there weren't firsts! Holding you all close in our prayers! Kathy Anderson
KSueH said…
This is so beautiful,thought-provoking, and inspirational! You sisters are amazing and loving.
Anonymous said…
What an inspiration and an incredibly beautiful journey of lasts with a one of a kind sweet sisterhood! Thanks for sharing it with us! You all are amazing.
Cathireno said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cathireno said…
Absolutely beautiful! How truly blessed you were to have each other and to love each other as much as you did. Your mom and dad are pretty happy right now.
Lisa B said…
Beautiful. Crying here. You couldn’t have said it better.
Mary said…
I agree with what you said. The only problem is that knowing the first of things we do is easy but it is very hard to know when the last of anything we do will be for most people. Those of us with love ones who are terminal really are never ready for the last of anything their love one does but are more likely to be there to experience that bitter sweet moment. I watch my husband closely now but never want to get to the end as he seems normal now. I will hate to see him suffer but know that doing so will allow me to let go easier knowing the suffering will be over. I watched my father die a couple of years ago. The hospice nurse told us it could be any time, but he lasted a week after that. He was suffering so bad that last week, that I told him it was ok to go. I miss him so much and I'm so afraid of going through this with my husband now. I hate cancer. Remember the good times with you sister and she will always be with you inside.
Unknown said…
You're right ... this message is still so important and "spot on." Love you!

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